So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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