I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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