Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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