do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
