im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she looked like the before picture.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
