So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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