Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
