Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
