my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Congratulations! We have a period
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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