i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
