Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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