shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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