everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
