why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
