it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
