it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
