How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
