white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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