last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
