soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
