Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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