dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
