"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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