Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize