Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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