The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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