You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
