just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
