Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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