You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you had me at cake vodka
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...