I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
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People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back