I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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