In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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