Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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