i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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