I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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