when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
