sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
