Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
