seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
