I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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