I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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