that's an acceptable place to lick
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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