we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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