i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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