I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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