You made me cry and you don't even care
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
