she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
