I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Come see our sink grown plant.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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