Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
