I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have tasted many bathrooms
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
