Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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