last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
In America we eat man semen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
