WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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