wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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