Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
