Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
