He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize