This girl is more easily done than said...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize