Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i came on her dog
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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