Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
