So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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