A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
