Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
