Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
